Sitting Awake

Dear You,
These words I write are words I could never say to you, or even actually right to you, but if I could it would not make a difference anyway. So here it goes. You are amazing, I decided that the first moment I saw you spoke. When I first talked to you, you lit a fire inside of me, and I was curious to see what the end result would be. I can almost say that I loved you, and that sadly, I gave a piece of myself to you.
What I don't understand is, why did you leave me? Why did you kiss me with passion, and decide to run? Why did you hold my hand so everyone could see? Why did you stare at me while you were serenading a room full of strangers? Why did you inspire me so much, that I couldn't handle all of the words, phrases, and sonnets running through my mind? Why did you eat my famous chicken, and my homemade french toast? Why did you tell me you weren't going to leave for awhile? Why did you come back for me again? Why did you kiss me? Why did you get intimate with me? Why did you want to know my secrets, if you didn't really want to know my secrets? Most of all is why did I believe you?
Well I want you to know, that I will think of you, and hope to maybe be with you. But rest assured I will move on from you, and you will never know the heartache and pain you've made risen with in me. You will never know that that fire you first lit within me, turned as cold as the "Black Ice", you used to sing about. You hurt me.
But thankfully, I have something more powerful than you, me, or anything in the world, and that is Jesus. Thankfully God is here for me, and God will never leave me, and God will never forsake me. God will always know my secrets, and God will always inspire me, and God will always sing within me. God is bigger than any obstacle that you may have put in front of me. Thankfully God also is here for you, and God will continue to be for me.